Call of Duty: World at War

Call of Duty: World at War

Okay, yes, I know this game has been getting a lot of flak lately, but it isn’t the shining beacon of horribleness that it’s made out to be…mostly. If imitation is really the sincerest form of flattery, then Treyarch must have been fellating Infinity Ward hardcore, because nearly every mission is in some way ripped from Call of Duty 4. The very first level? Sniper mission. Another mission? Eerily reminiscent of the AC-130 Gunship mission. The same CoD4 engine is used too, so it’s pretty much Modern Warfare with less sophisticated equipment and more Nazis.

The one thing that is really improved upon this game for me is they ramped up the gore factor by about a gazillion. Personally, I enjoyed it, being the bloodthirsty maniac I am. I felt it helped with the realism and seeing your enemy suddenly covered in shiny crimson gives the game a powerful punch in terms of the rifle you’re holding suddenly makes you feel empowered. Sadly, that’s about the only good point in the gameplay, because Treyarch managed to fuck everything else up.

My biggest gripe with this game is how fucking difficult it is. Comparing CoD2’s veteran campaign and WaW’s hardened campaign, WaW’s is, hands down, MUCH harder. Grenades are spammed ruthlessly, and enemies respawn. Yes, in the 30+ years that Space Invaders was released, we still have endlessly spawning baddies that pour into the room when you’ve killed enough of the Nazi war machine to build a skyscraper out of bodies and enough spilled enough blood to shoot a few Eli Roth movies. They don’t stop coming. Excuse me, but I’m pretty sure by the time the roof of the Reichstag was stormed, the last of the German troops were either so old they couldn’t keep up with the already-victorious Soviet Army or were getting their first pubes. And sadly, no, I am not exaggerating, there were 12 year olds with submachine guns and assault rifles guarding the upper levels of the Reichstag.

The sound is standard fare, your basic pings, pops, zings, and guns are done okay, but by no means well. The voice acting is hit and miss. All of the Marines sound like testosterone-fueled manly men (gee, thanks a bunch Sands of Iwo Jima) and sound like the cheesiest, lamest soldier voice ever. But Sergeant Reznov’s voice…holy shit, I would buy him a beer just to hear him talk.

This review wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the reward for beating the game. Zombies. NAZI ZOMBIES.THAT SOUND YOU JUST HEARD WAS YOUR LID GETTING FLIPPED. Yes, the easter egg for beating the game is endlessly spawning zombies (NAZI ZOMBIES OMFGWTFBBQ) and even better, you can play it either solo or Co-op and shoot zombies (THAT ARE NAZIS) all day and night. Buy upgrades and weapons with points you earn for killing zombies (FASCIST ZOMBIES) and fixing fortifications, and use those weapons to kill MORE zombies (NAZIS! WHEEEEEEE!) and the cycle repeats. All in all, the zombie (HEIL GEORGE ROMERO!) mode is a welcome addition that makes a mediocre game at least shine for a while after you beat it (if you can stomach all the retries that you’ll be doing from dying).

Final Word: Let’s be clear, World at War isn’t a bad game. It’s a victim of trying to copy Modern Warfare, and simply fails to reach the bar set by undoubtedly one of the best FPSes ever. Taken by its own merits, World at War isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be. If you’ve never played Modern Warfare you’ll probably find a fun (and at times, frustrating) shooter with an active multiplayer base. However, as most people have played MW, it might end up just leaving a bad aftertaste in your mouth.

Sticky’s Final Grade: C+

+ Innovative in ramping up both the gore and difficulty

- Ramped up difficulty a bit too much. When Suicidal J3di can’t beat the game, it’s too hard

+ Admirably tries to mimic Modern Warfare

- Fails in almost every way

- Some of the shittiest checkpoints I have ever seen in a game, bar none

- As a weapons buff, there are many things wrong with how the game’s weaponry is presented

Fable II

Fable II

Oh, good old Pete Molyneaux. Has the tendency to promise the world and give you a hunk of sod. His latest endeavor, Fable II, takes place centuries after the original Fable, moving from the magicky, swordsy, dragony, bow-and-arrowy age into a magicky, swordsy, villain wanting to use an artifact of great powery, shoot stuff with rifley age. In terms of chronological age, it went from medieval period to the Highwayman age.

The story starts off innocuously enough, summarizing your life up to that point with a bird taking a lovely dump on your head. The first part of the game (childhood) is pretty much like the first Fable. Do a bunch of menial tasks to get money to buy a magical music box from some hack trader. The price? Five gold pieces. How many jobs are there to do? Take a stab in the dark. Some time later, you buy the music box, crank the handle, and make a wish. The wish comes true, but like finding the razorblade with your mouth in the apple only after taking a healthy chomp out of it, everything that was up til that point going right takes a left turn at the intersection of Unoriginal Avenue and Plot Device Boulevard. Your sister is killed, you’re (nearly) killed, and your furry four-legged friend (no, it is not an amputee spider) finds you and a twitch of your cold and grubby little orphan fingers lets the player know that your character is indeed alive and what appears to be the shortest game in existence is actually a bit longer than expected.

The game continues with you finding an interesting cast of folks, including a ‘roided up woman, a glowing guy who is good at making pretty lightning effects with his hands, and a rich guy who moonlights as a douchebag. But here’s the fun part, they made the three characters the embodiments of the three hero attributes! OH MY, HOW UNEXPECTED, HOW THESE PEOPLE ARE BROUGHT TOGETHER FOR A COMMON CAUSE! Honestly, if you didn’t see it coming, you’re mentally retarded and you’re lucky to be reading this review at all. And don’t bitch to me “OH BUT STICKY, YOU’RE RUINING THE STORY FOR ME,” because the plot-line is about as thin as you can get without it being transparent.

Okay, so the story doesn’t wow, but what about the gameplay? Well, that’s where most of the meat and potatoes show up for this game. The expression wheel has been reworked and it takes some getting used to rather than the straightforward mode of selecting things in the last one, but feels natural once you’ve gotten used to it. Combat has been tweaked and now has context specific combat moves, such as knocking someone off a ledge, and flourishes have been done away with. In its stead is a purchasable upgrade that acts as a charge-up attack that breaks through enemy blocks and generally produces some major damage if it connects with someone. Earning money doing menial work sucks though.

The major groundbreaking success of this project was in essence a pet. Fuck your pixilated Tomagachis and satanic Furbies, no this is a DOG! …Okay, yes, it sounds lame, but the idea works even if it is kind of simplistic. You can tell your dog “good boy,” and “bad boy.” You can throw a ball that your dog will faithfully retrieve (unless you chuck it into rooftops like I did to watch the dog go apeshit), and give him treats if he’s injured.

The marriage/love aspect works pretty much the same as in the old Fable and the only difference is now you can have Carl Sagan “beelions and beelions” of kids. Each one has their own personality and will respond to different emotions and has different favorite things. You can also get STDs, but those seem to be more for humor factor than any appreciable effect on your character. Given the time, STDs might be desirable. It meant you were “experienced.”

The main selling point like almost ALL of Molyneaux’s games is its sandbox aspect. Be a pure-hearted paragon of all that is good and pure. You could be Lord Evil the Asshole who enjoys murdering kids (haha, just kidding, you can’t kill the kids; I tried…), or anything inbetween. You can also own enough real-estate to be crowned “Emperor of Albion” but owning lots of land doesn’t do anything but give you more gold, and honestly, once you’ve bought enough real estate to make the Louisiana purchase look conservative and have more money than Bill Gates could ever hope to make, there’s not much more to do but gamble it away (Fortune’s Tower is my favorite) and buy (rent?) a lot of whores.

Sound is your standard fare with heavily-accented residents of the future British Isles. Sound is nice, but repetitive. The voice acting of the primary characters however, is done quite well.

Final Word: Fable II is a good, but by no means great, RPG. The spells list has been nerfed and removed a lot of the original spells that I enjoyed using and are usually so weak that it’s usually more useful to just focus on one spell (something destructive, like lightning or fireballs or something) and upgrade the hell out of that and use some kind of weapon. Relying on spells is easier (no “mana” limit) but they now take time to charge up to a lethal level. In conclusion, Fable II honestly, is the original Fable with a few tweaks and a dog thrown in. If you enjoyed the original Fable, you’ll probably enjoy this game, but I’d say wait until it becomes a bargain bin game.

Sticky’s Final Grade: B-

+ Dog mechanic is refreshing and interesting

+ Graphics are pretty

+ Lol, STDs

+ Reworked combat formula works, and works well

- Not much difference between the original and this one

- Predictable story, predictable plot, predictable ending

- Why can’t I kill children to get evil really fast?